development/ Parenting

What is permissive parenting?

What is permissive parenting?

A more relaxed approach towards raising a child

Being naïve to the kids is often one of the traits of modern parents. I daily encounter parents who have a jovial style of raising their kids, but with certain rules. I rather accept that these are aimed to make the childhood of their children a sweet memory and make sure the child grows up in a happy environment. In our series of parenting style, the third parenting style is all about love, kindness, mutual respect, and boundaries. The permissive parenting style is the most commonly adapted parenting style by modern parents. If you are a loving parent with little values to rules and discipline, this parenting style is for you. Let us know Permissive parenting style better.

The definition of permissive parenting

By definition, permissive parenting style is a type of parenting practice wherein the parents are identified with high responsiveness and lowest demands. This means, that the parents tend to pay more value to the child’s feeling and expressions and have lesser expectations in the result. Indeed there are guidelines for the kids to follow, but they are exerted in the most naïve manner, ensuring ultimate support and understanding to the child. The parental figure is this parental style acts more like a friend and do not have huge expectations from their child in terms of behavior.

To be more precise, these parents do not hover over their child, instead, are very relaxed, and do not have strict rules that are enforced on them. Even if they have any rules, they are imposed in the most light-hearted manner, to make sure the kids do not feel burdened with it.

These parents believe in the ideology that “kids will be kids” and thus do not expect them to behave maturely. Such isn’t can be identified as warm, loving and nurturing parents, with little or no importance for rules and regulations.

What are the key characteristics of permissive parenting?

Permissive parenting is one of the preferred parenting styles of many parents nowadays. I personally have witnessed parents showing warmth and affection to their child and it is definitely a cherished bond to witness. Technically, the key features of parents following permissive parenting include:

  • Limited rules and regulations for behavior
  • Inconsistent rules
  • Nurturing and loving parents towards the child
  • They are more like a friend than a parent
  • They believe in the reward system and offer candy, toys or other such things for positive behavior
  • Follow no set schedule or structure
  • Believes in a child’s freedom and least responsibility
  • Expression of speech and value the child’s opinion
  • They do not set any consequences, even if they do, they rarely enforce them

How children raised in permissive parenting style are affected?

The effects of the parenting style on the child are visible right from the start. As I deal with different kids daily, I can easily identify one child from other and its parenting styles. The kids raised in permissive parenting style are unique and possess specific traits. The commonly identified effects of permissive parenting style include:

Low achievement

Yes, the kids that are raised in permissive patenting style may fail to achieve more in many aspects of their life. This is primarily because their parents never had any expectations set for them and hence they did not have any goal to achieve. The trait is carried forward to every aspect of their lives. I can vouch for the low academic performance of such children.

Poor decision making power

The kids often lack the power of making the decision and even if they do, they make poor decisions. Because their parents were always there for them, they never had to deal with a problematic situation on their own. Hence the issue bathers them when they grow up.

Low emotional understanding and high aggression

The emotional breakdown of these children is very often and they also do not have the patience to deal with situations, because, their parents have always facilitated their demands, they have never practiced to have the patience or try hard for something.

They tend to involve in bad behavior easily

There are several studies that indicate the children who are pampered under permissive parenting style are more prone to get involved in substance abuse, alcohol, and other delinquency.


Such children can also be identified as indiscipline children. However, the indiscipline is not negative but it’s the lack of ability to follow the timeline, schedules or lead a managed life. Involving in games too much or watching the television a lot instead of preparing for the exam are a few traits of children in permissive parenting.

They do not give importance to self-discipline as they are always left free to enjoy their own freedom and life their own way.

What is permissive parenting

How to be a better permissive parent?

While permissive parenting is the most relaxed style of parenting, it might have some negative effects on the child. I can say this because there are children who have most loving parents but they are growing to be very irregular in every aspect of their life. In case you are a permissive parent and want to practice the style in a positive manner, here are a few tips I would like to offer:

  1. There should be rules, nit strict but at least nominal to make sure the child has the understanding of good and bad.
  2. Do not set ant consequence or penalty, but make sure that the kid understands the value of breaking a rule and its consequences.
  3. You can be firm and consistent without losing the love aspect of the relationship. It can be difficult at first, but once you do, you will experience how drastically the child’s behavior changes.
  4. Set rewards for good behavior and offer them the best treatment, they love it a lot and tend to perform well.


When practiced with a little strictness, permissive parenting is one of the best ways to raise your child. Utilizing a little bit of authoritative parenting can help you overrule the shortcomings of permissive parenting. Set little guidelines and a few rules and make sure that the child follows them. Keep the follow-up consistent and just see how positively things change for you and your child.

Do you have a question or a comment? please let me know. Leave a message!

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Sue Denym
    10/04/2019 at 11:37

    Great article. Recently, I became intrigued by something called “Radical Unschooling” and read into it a bit. While I completely disagree with the parenting style, they argue that children will self-regulate without rules and schedules. I do agree that some children will self-regulate with some things, many children will experience the consequences of permissive parenting that you describe in your article.

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