The right way to deal with your child
While disciplining a child is important, it isoften the toughest job for the parent. Not because it demands a lot of hard work and efforts, but because identifying the right way of parenting is a big deal. What to do when the child does not behave is the common question most of the parents ask me frequently. I have seen some of the most loving and nurturing parents get defeated in the struggle of offering the right guidance and support to the child.
While many of us are successfully raising our children in our unique style, often we end up doing something wrong, which comes haunting us afterward. Whether you shouted in your child throwing tantrums or gave them a little spanking, it is you who would repent your actions later, even if they taught the child a good lesson.
So, how to ensure that you are the right parent offering everything to your child that he demands and deserves. Well, the answer rests in the science of positive parenting. If you are wondering what positive parenting is all about, let us spill the beans.
The definition of positive parenting
Positive parenting is a parenting style characterized by features like mutual respect and positive instructions. The parents here play a role of a friend, guide and mentor. The primary focus rests on learning the concept while eliminating the provision of punishment.
The parenting style is known to bring the best out of the children and the outcomes range from positive behavior to emotional growth, academic performance to career choice and personality to mental health.
History of positive parenting style
Positive parenting is a parenting philosophy based on the research work and findings f Viennese psychiatrists, Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs. However, it gained recent popularity through the books of Dr. Jane Nelsen Ed.D., who refined the findings of Adler and Dreikus and presented it in a more simplified and understanding way.
The parenting style is being adopted by the parents more and more. The reasons for this sudden popularity is attentiveness in parents and better outcomes hat the parenting style has to offer. As per an expert, “Positive parenting emphasizes the communication of clear parental expectations, a collaboration between the parent and child, praise and reinforcement for desired behaviors, and the avoidance of harsh consequences such as physical punishment.”
However, it is not a new concept and it has been observed that there were many parents who used the method even in the older times, but, they were rarely identified and encouraged.
How to adopt a Positive Parenting style?
I am sure this parenting style must have impressed you. I counsel many parents every day on how they can adapt to the positive parenting style. If you too are pondering how to make changes in your parenting pattern and offer your child the positive aspect of parenting, here is how you can adapt to this style:
The reasons behind the action are more important
If your child is misbehaving, there is surely some reason. While most of the parents consider this reason as illegitimate or too petty to consider, it actually plays a great deal in treating the behavioral concerns in children. The child behaves in a particular way because there is something influencing the, to do. As a parent, even if you do not find it worth noticing, understanding it and addressing it with the child may make them feel valued. It also gives the impression that you are trying to understand the needs of the child. This eliminates the need for behaving in a specific way and your problem is resolved.
Discipline is important but in a kinder and firmer way
Children learn doing anything and everything by mimicking others. They take most ofthebehavioral; examples from you, so, by being kind to others, you can help them grow as a kind-hearted individual. Ifyou are a parent talking to your child in a raised voice or call him names, he will do the same when he needs something from you or is angry with you. The reasoning is one of the best ways to address child requirements and keep them disciplined, at the same time.
In a parent-child relationship, there should be some hard limits set for the children, for them to understand the limits and perform accordingly.
Take a beak
Yes, you need to take a break. I often do, when I am no more able to handle the kids at their worst. I let them do what they want to and once I have gained back my composure, I resume Bing strict and meaningful. This not only helps you in dealing with the more critical aspect but also encourages the child to develop self-discipline and motivation.
The punitive approach is never a solution
Experts suggest that punitive punishment is never a solution to behavior teaching. As per a book I recently read, with punitive measures to deal with the child, a parent only increases the risk of 4 Rs. i.e. Resentment, Rebellion, Revenge, and Retreat. Instead, it is recommended to use positive methods to reinforce discipline.
Be vocal about your expectations
Remember, the child will always deliver the results when he will be aware of the expectations of him. You cannot sit back and relax, while they do not know what to do and what they are aiming for. By expressing your expectations you tell them to be specific, without any hitting around the bush situation.
Wrapping it up
Positive parenting demands a lot of patience. By understanding the child and helping it understand yourself, you are can build a relationship of mutual respect and understanding. The child learns the behavior under this aspect and thus offer better results and long-lasting effects.
You must listen to the child but also set your disciplinary actions which must be administered when the child behaves the way opposite to what is expected from him. This is the best way to raise a child to be the personality you aim them to be and teach them valuable lessons for life.