What is your style?
Being a parent is a responsible job. You need to understand the requirements of raising your child and also make sure that you deal with them in the right way. Well, this is also a pre-requisite of a kindergarten teacher job, and hence I understand how important it is. Experts claim that the way you treat and deal with your child affects a number of growth factors such as the physiological growth (weight, height), Psychological growth as well as the overall personality of your child. I personally believe that childhood is the most pliable time of an individual’s life and it’s when you raise a child to be a great personality. You must ensure that the parenting style you follow, which is the ways you use to discipline your child and deal with other related issues, makes positive impacts as it will affect your child’s life in the long run.
But, what exactly is parenting style?
If you are wondering what is parenting style, let me answer the question for you in simpler words. As per the definition, Parenting Style is defined as a psychological set of standards and strategies, that parents use n raising and rearing their child. In layman language, the way to deal with your child and make them understand different values while helping them maintain a disciplined life and develop as a better individual is known as parenting style.
As per the research, there are 4 types of parenting styles:
Let me now discuss these parenting styles in detail, to identify the unique characters of each style and their pros and cons.
As the name suggests, the Authoritarian Parenting style is where the authority lies in your hands. The parent following Authoritarian style believes that the kids need constant instructions for how to behave and they have no right to be heard. Moreover, this parenting style has little or no considerations for the feelings of the child. I personally believe that rules play a significant role in this parenting style and “Because I said so” is the most commonly used phrase of this parenting style as the parent believes that the rules are of the utmost importance and the child must follow them, no matter how.
- As the style focuses on obedience, the child understands the value of the rules and follows them throughout life. This helps them settle harmony with others without much efforts.
- The focus remains on the expectations out of the behavior, hence the child tends to have the desire to fulfill the expectations.
- The rules set the goal and the child understands the value of achieving it. Thus Authoritarian parents raise goal oriented child.
- The child usually grows to an individual with lower self-esteem. The core reason is the lack of communication and the ability to express.
- I have observed that suppressed feelings turn into a rage in long run and the child may have a feeling of animosity towards his/her parents.
- A constrained thought process for self-benefit and rights is what children show often.
Unlike the authoritarian approach, Authoritative Parenting style takes into account the feelings and existence of the child. It is easy to notice that the parents give more efforts to build a positive and harmonious relationship with the child but also ensures that the child understands the difference between the right and the wrong. The parenting style marks a very clear line of authority and the parents own it, but, it nowhere undervalues the feelings and the existence of the child. Behavioral problems are paid attention to and are prevented well in time. By analyzing the kids raised with this style, I can clearly say that they have a perfect balance between Freedom and Supervision as well as Criticism and Appreciation.
- The child develops with a sense of responsibility and understands the risks of bad behavior or company.
- The academic record and performance of child raise by Authoritative parents are better as the child is continuously praised and criticized.
- They foster better psychological health and have a pleasing personality with traits as self-confidence and self-esteem.
- Respect, discipline and positive behavior are common behavioral traits if such children.
- Children may demand reviews often and have less hold of the behavior when not taught what to do.
- The child may take advantage of the leverage and use emotional aspect to fight the strict rules.
When you are lenient with your children, you are following the Permissive Parenting style. The style has set rules but allows parents to not be forcing with their child. There are no set consequences for any type of behavior and “interference” is considered as a constraint for right parenting ways. I must say that the parents following Permissive Parenting style pays high importance to the child’s feelings and interfere only when the problem is serious in nature. I have noticed that under this style, the parent plays the role of a friend more than being a parent and holding the authority.
- The child grows up to be more expressive and communicate freely as the parents allow children to speak their mind.
- High self-esteem is a characteristic of the kids raised by parents with permissive parenting style.
- The encouragement and the freedom to express makes the kids more creative and thus acquire more talents.
- The conflicts between the parents and the kids are minimum as both the parties have equal involvement.
- The lack of consequences may encourage the child to involve in bad behavior and company.
- The sense of boundaries is lost and hence the child may develop as a dominating personality.
- Respecting the elders and their instructions becomes undervalued and the child might develop a sense of superiority.
My personally preferred, positive parenting keeps mutual respect at the core. The parents respect their child’s needs and demands but also ensure that the child respects their authority too. As the parents here are good listeners and allow their child to speak up their minds, I see children having more confidence and self-esteem. However, they also set consequences for bad behavior and the parents have the final say, so the child is also well-disciplined. There are directions and rules, which must be followed to get the reward or the consequence, otherwise.
- The parenting style fosters consistency and fairness, developing a child into a more responsible personality.
- The children here develop better self-esteem and believe in the concept of mutual respect.
- More goal-oriented children as the consequences and rewards are equally promising.
- Dealing with challenges may be tough for the child as he receives constant guidance from the parents for every situation.
- Bad behavior is easy to grasp while correcting them takes a lot of efforts.
- Relaxed boundaries may make the child carefree.
Each parenting style has its own characteristics and pros & cons. All these parenting styles are practiced freely by several parents and have delivered different results. We would discuss about each one of these parenting styles in detail in our coming blogs, till then ‘Happy Parenting”.